26. The Power of Alone Time: 7 Ways to Reconnect with Yourself

Do you feel overstimulated, irritated, or triggered by things that never used to bother you? Have you been craving space… but feel guilty even thinking about taking it? Do you miss feeling like yourself; calm, grounded, and at peace?

In this episode, Diana Guintu gets real about what so many women in midlife are experiencing but not always saying out loud -the overwhelm, the irritability, the burnout… and yes, even the hormonal shifts that can leave you feeling completely out of sorts.

This isn’t about “fixing” yourself.
It’s about understanding what your mind and body are asking for… and giving yourself permission to respond.

Through honest stories, humor, and practical guidance, Diana shares why alone time is no longer optional — it’s essential — and how reconnecting with yourself can become one of the most powerful forms of self-care and emotional healing in this season.

If this episode spoke to you, share it with a friend who might need permission to slow down and reconnect with herself.

Because you’re not the only one feeling this way…
 and you don’t have to navigate this season alone. 💛

🔥 Ready to go all in and stop playing small? Apply now for my 1:1 Mentorship—personalized support for women who are serious about creating real transformation. Limited spots available.

https://dianaguintuspeaks.com/coaching

✨ Want to stop doubting yourself and finally silence your imposter? Grab my free guide 5 Secrets to Overcome Imposter Syndrome right here! https://dianaguintuspeaks.myflodesk.com/silenceyourimposter

💕Come hang out with me on Instagram—I share daily encouragement, behind-the-scenes, and real-talk for midlife women just like you.https://www.instagram.com/dianag_speaks

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Hey friend, welcome back to our next chapter. I'm your host, Diana Kinto, coach speaker, and someone who's deeply passionate about helping women reconnect with themselves, heal what's been weighing them down, and create a life that actually feels good to live. And today we're having a real conversation, like pull up a chair, loosen your bra, an excel kind of conversation. Okay, so tell me if this is just me. But lately, is your sense of smell on a whole other level? Like, why can I smell everything? Or the sound of someone chewing? Why does it suddenly feel like a personal attack? Or someone fidgeting too much, tapping, breathing a little too loud. And you're sitting there thinking, why am I so irritated right now? Because same. And listen, I've always considered myself like a pretty easygoing person, but lately I am aware. I am sensitive. I am one refill away from losing it. True story. Someone asked for a third refill of tea the other day, and I had to check myself. Like, Diana, this is not your business. And just the other day, I was talking with a couple of my closest friends, and we were all sharing how off we feel in this season. And one of them said it so perfectly. She said, This stage of life feels like a cruel and unusual punishment. I know it's traumatic, but she is not wrong because if you're in midlife between burnout, mental overload, hormones, perimenopause, and just life, it can feel like your nervous system is constantly tapped out. So today I want to do two things. One, I want to let you know that you're not crazy because you're not. I know that you might feel crazy, but you are not. And two, I want to start handing out permission slips. You know, like Oprah handing out her favorite things in the 90s. You get a permission slip, you get a permission slip, everybody here gets a permission slip. And the number one permission slip I want to give you today is you are allowed to spend time alone. Not because you're mad, not because something is wrong, but because you need it. Because if you're like me, you have spent years taking care of everybody else, holding everything together, and being the reliable one. And this season, friend, it's asking something different of you. I had a colleague recently tell me this. She said, every rebirth requires a death. And that was so powerful when she said it. I had to pause her and say, let me write that down. Because what if this season isn't you falling apart? What if it's you shedding releasing that old version of you so a new one can emerge? And those moments where you feel triggered, annoyed, overwhelmed, it's not random. Maybe it's your system saying, This is too much. I need space. I need you. So I want to use this time that we have together to talk about it. I want to share with you some of the ways that I'm giving myself alone time in this season and what I'm seeing work for my clients as well. And listen, take what resonates and leave the rest. And if you've got something that works for you, please share it in the comments because we are in this together. So the first thing I want to share with you is walk in nature. This one has been huge for me. I try to do this in the morning right after I do my power station. I spoke about that in the previous episode, but I throw on my tennis shoes and head out the door. And I don't know, there's something about it that really resets me. The birds, the fresh air, the sunlight coming through the trees. And it just reminds me, um, alive. I'm so grateful for those moments. And scientifically speaking, walking in nature reduces stress, it lowers your cortisol, improves your mood, and it even boosts clarity and creativity. For me, this time in nature in the morning, it's my time to spend with God. It's where I think, it's where I listen, and it's where I just can be. So even 20 to 25 minutes makes a huge difference. Go walk outside, get out in the fresh air, get some vitamin D, hear the birds, look at what's around you. It can be so healing. The second thing is read for pleasure. Okay, this one has been really fun for me. Last year, I made a goal to read 50 books before I turn 50. I'm turning 50 in a couple of months, and I'm so excited. Um, but I made a goal to read 50 books before I turn 50, and let me tell you, I'm way past that goal. But what mattered most about this journey is that I started reading for joy again. Not for growth, not for learning, not for work, but just for fun. Romance, fantasy, a little drama, a little spice, all of it. And what I didn't expect was how healing that actually felt. Because I don't know, but for me, for so long, even the things I enjoyed became productive. They had a purpose, a goal, a reason. And reading was something like that. And it became about learning more, growing more, doing more. And reading used to be that for me too. It became about learning more about how to heal, how to grow, how to do more, my business, my healing journey, helping my clients, you know, improving myself, all that stuff. But somewhere along the way, I lost the part of me that just wanted to escape into a story, to feel something, to imagine, to be swept into someone else's world for a little bit. And coming back to that, I it felt like coming back to myself. It felt light, playful, free. And I think a lot of us forget that. We forget that we are allowed to do things that don't make us better, they just make us feel good. So if you've been in that season where everything feels heavy, serious, or tied to a result, let this be your reminder that you are allowed to experience pleasure again. You're allowed to have fun, you are allowed to do things just because you enjoy them. No outcome required, no goal in mind, just for fun, for pleasure. Number three is meditate more. I know, I know everyone says meditate, and you're like, I've tried, and my brain won't shut up. I get it, I know exactly what you're talking about, but that's the point. Meditation is training. You don't show up to a marathon race and expect to be able to complete those 26 miles without having trained, right? And sometimes even for months. It's the same thing here. Your mind is not going to know how to relax, how to rest, how to take a beat if you don't practice, if you don't teach it how to slow down, how to regulate, how to come back to yourself. So meditate. Start breathing, start being present with yourself. I've seen my clients reduce anxiety, guilt, and emotional reactivity just from this one habit alone. It is so important to your well-being. And there's tons of apps out there that you can download and use some guided meditation. And start with five minutes. Remember, it's the important part is to start. The fourth thing I want to share with you is go somewhere quiet and beautiful. A museum, an art gallery, an exhibit, somewhere where you don't have to talk, you don't have to perform, you just observe. And there's something so healing about being around beauty without expectation. Because I want you to think about it. How often are you in spaces where no one needs anything from you? No one's asking you a question, no one's pulling your attention, no one is expecting you to respond, solve, or manage. You just get to exist. I remember the first time I intentionally went to an art gallery by myself. I walked in and almost felt like this urge to rush through it, like, okay, let me see everything, check all the boxes and move on. And then I caught myself and I forced myself to intentionally slow down. And I stood in front of One Piece for longer than I normally would, and I just started noticing the details, the color, the texture, what it made me feel. And it was the strangest thing. It felt like my nervous system just softened. My body got the message that I was safe, that I didn't have to be on right now. And there's actually research that really supports, and there's studies that show that engaging with art can lower your quarter soul levels, reduce stress, and even increase feelings of emotional connection and well-being. But friend, beyond the science, here's what I think is really happening. You're giving your mind a brick from doing and inviting it back into feeling, into being. And for so many of us, that's the part that's been missing. So go somewhere beautiful, walk slowly, take it in. Let yourself be moved without needing to explain it or fix it or turn it into something productive. Just be there. That can be extremely restorative for you. Next, eat alone at a restaurant. Now, I know this one can feel weird at first, table for one versus table for four. But let me tell you, it can be really powerful. I know some of you might already do this, but even if you have, if you don't do this regularly, I want to encourage you to try it out. Pick the place, pick the food. There's no reason to negotiate, there's no reason to ask people what they want. It's just you making the decision because that's what you want to eat that day. Recently, one of my clients did this. One of my clients did this recently. She sent me a picture on a random Sunday table for one, having brunch by herself. And she said, even though she was nervous and she missed having conversation, she also felt empowered. And this was just about allowing herself permission to explore and discover herself in different situations where the moment can be about you, where the focus is you. That's the work here in this season. It's about learning to be with ourselves because we need it. It's asking something different from us. That's why so many times we feel triggered and annoyed, and the sound of somebody breathing can send us over the edge. So this is just one more way to get some space. Okay. The next thing is maybe go for a drive. Sixth one is go for a drive. Some days you just need to get out, even from your own mood. You know those days where everything feels a little off, like you're irritated, maybe you're more restless than usual, you're even annoyed with yourself, you're looking in the mirror and you're wondering, now what? Why are you annoyed today? And you can't quite put your finger on it or identify why. Well, yeah, those days, what I've learned is sometimes the best thing I can do is go for a drive. It's just moving out of my environment, moving out of the situation that I'm in. And I've learned sometimes the best thing you can do in that moment is not sit there and try to overthink it, but it's just changing your environment. So I grab my keys, windows down, music up. And yes, for me, lately it's been a little Taylor Swift, because raise your hand if you're the Swifty. There's just something about it: the air hitting your face, your favorite song coming on, and then and then singing at the top of your lungs like nobody's listening, or just listening, just driving and enjoying the music. It just shifts something. It breaks that loop. Because when you're sitting in the same space with the same thoughts, your brain just keeps recycling that same energy. But when you get in the car and you move, you go, it's like it interrupts the pattern. It gives your nervous system something new to respond to, and it creates space. So sometimes that's all you need. Not a solution, not a breakthrough, but just to reset. I've had drives where I've started off annoyed, feeling really frustrated in my head. And by the time I got back home, I felt lighter, clearer, more like myself again. So I encourage you, give it a go. Um, this is your permission slip. You don't have to stay stuck in that energy. You're allowed to step away, even from your own thoughts, from your own company, and go for a drive. Let the music carry you for a bit and trust that sometimes it's just the simple things in life that you can do that will bring you back to you. And finally, I want to share one last thing before we wrap up here is get a room. Yes, really. When was the last time you stayed in a hotel by yourself? Like, really think about it. No kids, no responsibilities, no expectations, just you. Because I don't know about you, but for me, every hotel stay I had was tied to something: a family trip, an event. There was always a schedule, people to consider, things to do. But the first time I stayed in a hotel room, just for me, it was a game changer. I remember walking in and thinking, I don't have to share this space. I don't have to pick a bed, I don't have to pick a side, it's all just me. And I ordered exactly what I wanted from room service. I watched whatever I wanted on TV. I wore that robe way longer than necessary. And guess what? I went to bed early. Yes, zero negotiation, zero guilt. So there was no one asking for anything, no one needing anything. And at first, I'm not gonna lie, I feel like it did feel a little strange, a little indulgent. Um, because I think a lot of us were always thinking of like, what could I be doing that's more productive? But I settled in. I got my robe, my pizza, and you know what? It was amazing. This is what rest actually feels like in this next season: uninterrupted and unapologetic. And for so many of us, that kind of space is rare. So this might not be something you do every week, obviously, but once in a while, it can be so powerful because it reminds you that you are allowed to take up space without performing, without giving, without pouring into someone else. Just you being you. So here's what I want you to take from this. This season of your life, it's not asking you to do more, it's asking you to come back to yourself, to restore, to reconnect, to realign in alone time. Well, it's not selfish, it is necessary. So here's your permission slip. Protect your energy, because I once read that Taylor Swift said, treat your energy like it's expensive, like it's a luxury item. Not everyone can afford it. And that hits, doesn't it? So, friend, find your version of alone time, explore it, enjoy it, indulge in it. And of course, if this episode spoke to you, share it with another woman who needs to hear this because there are way too many of us out here thinking we're the only ones feeling this way. And we're not. I'm so glad you're here. I'll see you next time.